It's not really wedding season, per say, but dear God is it close. I can feel it. The Save-the-Dates are slowly trickling in. My debit card has retreated into its slot in my wallet; waiting and praying that there isn't a hotel to book, a dress to try on, or a gift to buy. I'm subconsciously looking for multi-event dresses - the ones that can be worn to a wedding and a bridal shower and then that other wedding two months later. (Change the shoes, change the accessories, add a sweater, BOOM. Whole new outfit.)
Now, before I continue I must add this tiny little disclaimer: this is not about the brides that have asked me to be in their weddings past, present, or future. I wouldn't trade standing next to any of you on your special day for anything. No, this is more of a rant. A rant about the things that a bridesmaid encounters during wedding season and not the friends and sisters that have shed their calm demeanor and witty personalities in the name of holy wedded bliss. This is intended to be funny, an exaggerated account of isolated instances in my perpetual, involuntary second career as a bridesmaid/wedding-goer.
I don't think I have the experience of Kathryn Heigel in "27 Dresses" but the 23 weddings I've been to and the 7 I've been in give me somewhat of a license to whine about it a little bit. I feel like the following list is a pretty standard chain of events for a bridesmaid, though I'm sure some would protest. Some of it is a blast and when well organized, turns out to be quite the event. Other things make me live tweet like my life depends on it because I can't deprive the world of this special kind of crazy.
Dress Shopping
Dress shopping comes in two forms: wedding dress shopping and bridesmaid dress shopping. Fortunately, the wedding dress shopping is often (not always) an event for the bride, her mother, her sister(s), the soon-to-be mother-in-law, and maybe a grandmother or two. Bridesmaids go, of course, but they don't usually have to and fortunately, I haven't been to many of these. Weddings are all about color coordination and any prepared bride knows that the easiest place to go to get a variety of styles, sizes and colors for the bridesmaids that all match is David's Bridal.
We'll pause here and talk about David's Bridal. It's a GIANT store with hundreds and hundreds of dresses separated by style, color, length, and any other defining characteristic that makes deciding that much easier. Then, some genius said "60 dressing rooms should do it." Who in their right mind thinks it's okay to put 60 girls in a giant room with their accompanying brides and have them try on $160 dollar dresses they're going to special order to wear for 6 hours? If that doesn't make them all go nuts, wait until they find out they're going to be getting minimal attention from the style consultant (because she's also helping 3 other bridal parties), and they'll sharing a dressing room with one or two girls they might not know that well and have to reveal to everyone that they didn't lay off the extra serving of mashed potatoes and have to go up a size. No one wants to be the fat bridesmaid. Even if you're all tiny.
Bridesmaids dresses are tricky because as they tell you in gym in middle school to boost your self esteem, no two people are alike. So, unless you handpicked your bridesmaids to be 5'4, 120 pounds, size B boobs and tan then you're not, let me repeat, NOT going to find a dress that looks great on everyone in the color you've had picked out since the day he proposed. Kudos for trying, David's Bridal. Your 40 different styles are a step in the right direction but me and that cheerleader and that six-foot ex-volleyball player are not all going to look good in that bright orange tea-length number with the empire waist. Good job, good effort.
Traveling
I want to be at your special day. But if that requires me to buy a $500 flight and book a hotel that even with your blocked-rooms discount is $150 a night then you'll have to forgive me for being selective. No one is happier that it's the most important day in your life and that you're getting married somewhere across the country that lines up with your perfect vision of the perfect wedding but I'm on a budget. And I have other trips I want to take in my 20's that don't involve spending 8 hours with 80 people I don't know.
Fortunately, I've only had a handful of weddings that I haven't been in a city where I knew someone and could crash on their couch. Just a friendly tip if you're planning a wedding: unless it's specifically a destination wedding meant to discourage unwanted family members and I'm gonna spend my down time on some exotic beach with an umbrella drink, keep it close to home. If I do have to travel, my gift to you is my presence and my commitment to giving it my all during the bouquet toss (as long as you don't play Single Ladies. Be a little more creative.)
Gifts
So let me get this straight, you want me to come to your 1. bridal shower 2. second bridal shower for college friends only 3. lingerie themed bachelorette party and 4. the wedding. Oh, and your book of wedding etiquette says I'm supposed to bring a gift to all of them AND help front the funds for food, alcohol, lodging, transportation, and invitations for at least one of those events? Right. So the $200 I'm spending on a dress and shoes so your wedding pictures look uniformed is not enough to show my undying love for you and your big day. I'll be at Bed, Bath and Beyond printing off registries if anyone needs me.
Open Bars
You're not having one? That's fine. We can work around that. Let's put our heads together and brainstorm ways I can get drunk before the reception or sneak alcohol in because there is no way in hell I'm doing any wedding duty sober that comes after you've exchanged rings. I hear they have really creative ways to conceal flasks these days. Also now would be an appropriate time for a shout out to the designers that put pockets in dress. You're the reason I keep doing this.
Plus Ones
There's some etiquette rule out there that says if you're not "dating, engaged, living together, or in a committed relationship" then you don't get a plus one. And this rule is bullshit. Mostly because none of those etiquette stipulations apply to me. There are very few things I like to do alone and going to weddings is not one of them. I'm sorry that you have to pay "...$100 for (insert date's name here) to eat..." but I have a list of guy friends that would be both entertaining and well-behaved at a wedding and in most cases, they're more fun than the loser your roommate from freshman year has been dating on and off for 6 months. If you're going to ask your friend to be in your wedding, at least give her someone that can join in either a) laughing hysterically at your dad's dance moves or b) doing the wobble while balancing a cupcake and a glass of red house wine. If nothing else, that plus one can be tasked with making sure my hand is never without a beverage. Drunk bridesmaids are happy bridesmaids.
Nosey Wedding Guests
This is by far my favorite. "Are you seeing anyone?" "Who is this guy you brought with you. Are ya'll dating?" "How do you feel that your little sister is tying the knot before you?" "Don't you want a man in your life, someone you can trust and rely on?"
Well I'll tell you how I feel about all of those questions: not a damn thing and no, it doesn't make me want to run home immediately and fill out my online dating profile. The best part about these questions is they're not only at weddings. I hear them at family functions, holidays, any time I go home, drinks with friends I haven't seen in a while, and when I casually mention to not-so-close coworkers that my "little sister got married last weekend." The reason this "wedding-ism" is one of my favorites is because I've turned it into somewhat of a game. I'm calling it "How long can I go answering these types of questions in the most creative way possible." (We'll work on the title.) To show you how it works, here's some I've used myself or stolen from popular movies and sitcoms when faced with these types of nosey family members:
"I'm not ready to stop sleeping with strangers I've met in bars"
"I want to finish all four seasons of Downton Abby on Netflix before I fully commit to another person."
"I don't like splitting bottles of wine with people."
"Actually, I'm flying to eight different states at some point during this year and don't feel like justifying that to anyone but myself."
So no, Cousin Susie who I haven't seen in years and I'm still not sure how we're related, marriage isn't on my radar. It's not even in that 5-year plan that my career adviser made me map out in college. I have more important things to do right now. Like visit the network of friends I've stretched across the country and go see a concert at every musical venue in Charlotte. And sure, one day I will find some that I love and trust but for now, I can check the oil in my car and change a tire and hang a picture pretty straight so unless this mystery guy can cook and feels like joining me on the couch for season 2 of "Orange is the New Black" then I'm not interested. The guy I brought with me to the wedding? He's actually going to get me a drink because I'll need another one before I attempt to go visit the rest of my family at table 8.
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Despite my angry take on some pretty basic events, I love weddings. I love being around a ton of people that I know and love. I love getting dressed up, drinking free alcohol and dancing like I'm never gonna hear music again. I love the father-daughter dance and when the bride and groom smash cake into each other's faces. And I love watching two people commit to a lifetime of love, happiness and joint bank accounts. I also know that when a future bride asks you to be in her wedding, you don't say no. All of my negative thoughts about wedding season are driven by an industry that says "this is how it's done." I think people are held to a bunch of rules and norms that are out of date, arbitrary, and give them an excuse to say "I'm gonna do it this way" when they know deep down it's not really the right thing to do and the people closest to them feel the effects of it.
The good news is is that I'm out of sisters. The bad news is the second wave of friends are starting to get engaged or have entered into pretty serious relationships. More good news: I'm in a much better place financially and emotionally; so much so that when two of my better friends from Virginia asked me to be in their weddings this past year, I didn't even hesitate or complain about it to other people every time I had to book a flight or buy a dress. The slew of weddings I had right after college where I was broke and trying to figure out life on my own is a two-year blurry stretch of chiffon and cheap red wine and I wouldn't have traded any of it. I'm up to 23 weddings total, 7 that I've been in with one more MOH role on the horizon. I still avoid those guests that say things like "you're next!" or weddings where I have to confront people from my past I was sure I would never have see again.
Many bloggers and fashion magazines have said this is the year of minimalist weddings and people straying away from the Emily Post formal affairs that have gold leaf invitations and 4 forks that never get used correctly (Where is my tiny cake for my tiny fork?!). Fingers crossed - we might actually be witnessing the changing of the wedding industry.
A girl can dream, right?
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
30 Before 30 - A Revisit of Sorts
It's been almost a year since I compiled this list and thought it would be a tad bit motivating to revisit it and give some updates. So...here goes.
- Learn to play guitar - it's ridiculous that I have the music background that I have and have never learned. Update: Learned 2 chords? That counts right? We'll call this one "in progress"
- Take a spontaneous trip - no plans, to itineraries.
- Do one thing that absoultely terrifies me - vague, but necessary.
- Present at a conference - yay professional development!
- Run a 10K - we'll probably start with a 5K here
- Buy a House
- Learn to meditate - I've heard good things. Figured I would give it a shot.
Blog More - Check! (Doing that RIGHT NOW)- Write a book Update Halfway there. May turn it into a blog instead?
- Buy a house
- Skydive/bungee jump
- Manage debt - Going into my 30's debt free, ya'll Calling this one "in progress" too.
- Set up emergency savings fund - yay more adult things!
- Meet an elephant
- Habitat For Humanity build
- Start a garden - might have to wait for #6
Hike in NC - Really. I've lived here 3 years already. Check! Completed a three mile hike up in Troutman buuttt there's lots more places I want to try.Go to the movies by myself- honestly never done this. I'm terrified of it. CHECK! Super proud of this one. Went to see Jungle Book one random Friday I had off and it was awesome - the movie and the experience.- Go camping
- Take a cooking class
- Unplug from my phone for a whole weekend - <cries uncontrollably the whole time>
- Snorkeling/Scuba diving
- Swim in a waterfall
- Get a tattoo - directly related to #14
- Get something published
Embrace Vegetables - <shudder>Check! I actually like cooked broccoli. Who knew?!Bristol Rhythm and Roots Reunion -a three day, boot stompin', real country music festival in Bristol Tennessee/Virginia. Check! Easily one of the best music festivals I've ever been to.Watch Star Wars start to finish- True Life: I have never seen any of them.Check! I watched all of them in a week to prepare for Episode 7. Can't say I hated it.- Put a secret in a PostSecret book in a bookstore - I found one in my book a few years ago. Time to return the favor.
- Visit 2 more states - may just get in the car and drive for this one. Update: Iowa in August and then...? Hopefully traveling somewhere fun next year :D
6 Down...a bunch in progress and a year and a half to go. Stay Tuned!
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
30 Before 30
I was talking to a friend the other day who is turning 30 in a few months. I've never really latched onto ages, or been defined by the way I'm supposed to behave or certain goals I'm supposed to accomplish because I'm a "certain age." But she was stressing because she felt like she had done SO much in her 20s but really wanted to roll (run?) into her 30s knowing she had done everything she wanted. No regrets. And it got me thinking about how I could really maximize these last few years of my 20s.
Everyone needs a little motivation to learn new things, be a better person, or check some things off a bucket list. And what better motivator than time? I'll be 30 in roughly two in a half years and now seemed like a more than reasonable time to start working on my 30 before 30 list. I have no idea if it's even possible to do all of this in less than 3 years. I mean, things could seriously come up out of no where. However, checking off a few of these seems like a step in the right direction to say farewell to my 20s and embrace my 30s with open arms.
So without further ado, the list:
Everyone needs a little motivation to learn new things, be a better person, or check some things off a bucket list. And what better motivator than time? I'll be 30 in roughly two in a half years and now seemed like a more than reasonable time to start working on my 30 before 30 list. I have no idea if it's even possible to do all of this in less than 3 years. I mean, things could seriously come up out of no where. However, checking off a few of these seems like a step in the right direction to say farewell to my 20s and embrace my 30s with open arms.
So without further ado, the list:
- Learn to play guitar - it's ridiculous that I have the music background that I have and have never learned.
- Take a spontaneous trip - no plans, to itineraries.
- Do one thing that absoultely terrifies me - vague, but necessary.
- Present at a conference - yay professional development!
- Run a 10K - we'll probably start with a 5K here
- Buy a House
- Learn to meditate - I've heard good things. Figured I would give it a shot.
- Blog More - Check! (Doing that RIGHT NOW)
- Write a book
- Buy a gun
- Skydive/bungee jump
- Manage debt - Going into my 30's debt free, ya'll
- Set up emergency savings fund - yay more adult things!
- Meet an elephant
- Habitat For Humanity build
- Start a garden - might have to wait for #6
- Hike in NC - Really. I've lived here 3 years already.
- Go to the movies by myself - honestly never done this. I'm terrified of it.
- Go camping
- Take a cooking class
- Unplug from my phone for a whole weekend - <cries uncontrollably the whole time>
- Snorkeling/Scuba diving
- Swim in a waterfall
- Get a tattoo - directly related to #14
- Get something published
- Embrace Vegetables - <shudder>
- Bristol Rhythm and Roots Reunion - a three day, boot stompin', real country music festival in Bristol Tennessee/Virginia.
- Watch Star Wars start to finish - True Life: I have never seen any of them
- Put a secret in a PostSecret book in a bookstore - I found one in my book a few years ago. Time to return the favor.
- Visit 2 more states - may just get in the car and drive for this one.
Random? Yes. Doable? Probably. Excited? Ridiculously. I'm not terrified of my 30s. In fact, I've honestly only heard good things thus far from those that are a little head of the game. But I will, without a doubt, be sending my 20s out with a bang.
Fingers Crossed (and crossing off #8) - hoping to keep track of some of the adventures here. Wish me luck!
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Game Day Decision
I get a significant amount of crap for my choice in
professional sports teams. Constantly
defending my decisions to like one team over the other as well my decision to
cheer for the home team when I go to a game that I have no personal stake in. My
Big 4, football, baseball, basketball, hockey, are all in different cities. To break it down:
Football: I’m an
Eagles fan but cheer for the Panthers 364 days a year. This year being the only
time I’ve had to pick between the two since I moved here.
Baseball: I cheer
for the O’s but appreciate the fact that the Nats weren’t around during my
childhood and now they are at the same time supporting the Charlotte Knights
that feed into the White Sox network.
Basketball:
Though I’ve never been deeply invested in the sport I found myself watching and
cheering for the Bobcats (Hornets) when I moved here but follow the Warriors
more on social media and can probably name more of their players do to a random
six-degrees connection to one of their players.
Hockey: Washington
is technically my home team and I’m happy to say out of the four, that’s the
only one that’s really uncontested.
I would like to pretend it’s strictly a professional sports,
but I’ve been exposed to quite a few different college sporting events since moving
here, too. On the shelf next to my 6 years worth of free I Bleed Purple
t-shirts are shirts from Davidson College, NC State, Carolina, Virginia and I’m
almost sad to admit it, but in about two weeks I’ll own a yellow Appalachian
State shirt for a game I begrudgingly agreed to go in a month.
Mixed up? Maybe. And it should also come as no shock that I
regularly have to defend my choices as well explain the collection of sports
apparel that covers professional and college teams all up and down the East Coast
and one basketball team in San Francisco. My favorite is trying to convince
someone that I have a valid reason to be passionate about a team from a city I’ve
never lived in and have no logical connection to. A close second favorite is
explaining why I live in Charlotte, own 6 Panther’s t-shirts and hats and will
still cheer for the Eagles on November 10th this year.
At the end of the day and to explain it in its most
simplified form, I just love sports. I love having something to cheer for, to
be passionate about, and to be a part of a community that comes together for a
common reason. It’s refreshing to see 60,000 people all wearing the same color,
cheering for the same thing amongst the conflict that plagues everyday life. And if that means that every Sunday I put on
black and blue to tailgate in uptown Charlotte while checking the Eagles score
on my phone to be a part of that particular community, then so be it. (I also
refuse to be one of those people who shows up to a game wearing a jersey from a
team that isn’t even playing on the same coast.)
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Confessions of an Extrovert
My sophomore year of college and again during my first semester of grad school, I was given the opportunity to take the Myers-Briggs personality test. I say "opportunity" because it's not something you can just find online and it's usually part of some team building activity in offices and HR interventions. Without going into too much detail, you answer a bunch of behavioral questions, it gives you four letters which are called your "personality"type, and then you read an accompanying page of info about the type that has some insight into your personality traits. Both times I took it, it has been spot on. But surprisingly enough, I changed in between the two tests. One thing that didn't change was that I was off the charts, as high as I could possibly be, an extrovert.
Contrary to social norms, extrovert doesn't necessarily mean I'm extremely outgoing (though that's true) and introvert doesn't mean you hide in a corner at parties (though that is sometimes also true). Nor are the words "extrovert" and "social" interchangeable. It just means I get my energy from being around other people whereas introverts get their energy from internal sources. I would rather go to a party and be constantly surrounding by others, introverts tend to have to work up to that point. The first time I took the test, my team of 15 was pretty split down the middle on who identified with each of these traits. The second time I took the test, the three people I worked closely with all identified as introverts. Did we get along? Absolutely. We just had different ways of handling situations and social settings.
There's a lot of things I LOVE about being an extrovert but often I'm questioned about why I do certain things and often I'm asked something along the lines of "what part about that is fun?" I don't feel like I need to justify my need for excessive use of social media or my need to be near other living, breathing, talking humans at all times but more like explain some of my favorite qualities that have the ability to drive some people nuts.
Things About My Personality That Are Directly Related To My Off-The-Charts Extrovert Reading
Contrary to social norms, extrovert doesn't necessarily mean I'm extremely outgoing (though that's true) and introvert doesn't mean you hide in a corner at parties (though that is sometimes also true). Nor are the words "extrovert" and "social" interchangeable. It just means I get my energy from being around other people whereas introverts get their energy from internal sources. I would rather go to a party and be constantly surrounding by others, introverts tend to have to work up to that point. The first time I took the test, my team of 15 was pretty split down the middle on who identified with each of these traits. The second time I took the test, the three people I worked closely with all identified as introverts. Did we get along? Absolutely. We just had different ways of handling situations and social settings.
There's a lot of things I LOVE about being an extrovert but often I'm questioned about why I do certain things and often I'm asked something along the lines of "what part about that is fun?" I don't feel like I need to justify my need for excessive use of social media or my need to be near other living, breathing, talking humans at all times but more like explain some of my favorite qualities that have the ability to drive some people nuts.
Things About My Personality That Are Directly Related To My Off-The-Charts Extrovert Reading
- I will do what it takes to be around people. I have been known to neglect other "non-important" things if it means I'm hanging out with people I like. Some of these things may include: sleeping, eating, cleaning, gas, laundry, dishes, budgets, and anything else that can wait another day or be readjusted to fit an activity.
- I will get upset if I miss a social event. I've driven over night, spent money I don't have, taken time off of work and crashed on friends' couches to make sure I'm there when something is going on. If for whatever reason, I can't be there, I cut my losses and hope whatever I've decided to do instead is equally as fun and that I take much better pictures than I would have at the other event.
- I will make small talk with strangers. I can and will find something to talk to anyone about. And in all honesty, some of those conversations turn out to be some of my best stories.
- I will check my phone every five minutes. It makes all my friends and most of my coworkers just thrilled to hang out or go to lunch with me. I know half of this is related to my Generation-Y characteristics and the fact that information is readily available, but I'm also blaming the fact that I have this subconscious need to be connected to everyone all the time.
- I will Instagram, Tweet, and Facebook anything that's worthy of the thumb movement. The people in my life need to know what I'm doing it. That means using social media to its full potential.
- I will always be a people pleaser. I'm at my best when I'm around people and I'm even better when all of those people are getting along and having a good time. To do that, I go out of my way to make everyone happy, even when they're not in my immediate calendar. Need a ride somewhere? I'm not busy. Want me to do a freelance project pro-bono? Sure! I could use the experience. Want me to get there an hour early and get everything set up? Yeah, no problem. I only need 4 hours of sleep, anyways.
- I will take time out of my day to have a conversation with a coworker. I will also add that I won't work at a job where I am completely autonomous and will take a walk to talk to someone rather than send an email. Not only do I personally enjoy it, but it makes the day go faster and builds relationships. Yay networking!
- I will make phone calls on long road trips. Trips in the car are WAY too much time to myself. My head wanders, my thoughts go crazy, and a well-sculpted playlist is only good for about 2 hours. I will make phone calls and am grateful that my sister and a few random friends can usually be counted on for entertainment. Texting a driving is illegal, kids. Don't use that as a form of distraction while driving.
- I will never know the meaning of excessive alone time. This is only half true. I do enjoy the occasional hour by myself but during that time, I'm well connected via my phone, TV and lap top. Rarely do I shut the world out and spend time with literally just myself...and my cute dog.
- I will take my relationships very seriously. My relationships mean the world to me and sometimes, a little sacrifice on my end (if it means avoiding a fight or saving us both from a heated conversation) is well worth it. While this directly relates to the "people pleaser" thing, I do go out of my way to make sure my relationships are safe and for the most part, healthy. It takes me a lot less work emotionally to forgive and forget than it does for me to hold a grudge and drag something out. It takes a lot for me to actually phase someone out but catch me on a bad day and I'll probably just not talk to you for a while.
I know there's a lot of other elements to the Myers-Briggs personality types but in that 4 year gap of taking it two different times, my extrovert score didn't change. I was equally as extroverted as a First Year Graduate Assistant as I was as a Sophomore RA in Eagle Hall. When you take the test, you get matched up with a celebrity and my well-known person with a similar personality was...wait for it...Snoopy! That should come as no surprise to anyone who has been in my apartment or knows about my (not in the foreseeable) future tattoo plans. Snoopy and I have the same personality type and while I always loved him, this little revelation just sealed the deal.
To be honest, I'm not hiding behind the test to explain my social behavior nor am I completely discrediting the validity of being defined by a certain set of characteristics. But recently, since my life has belonged to everyone but me and I continue to move forward at a blistering speed, I felt it necessary to blame my extroverted-ness for something. I do embody almost all of the traits my one-page description outlined for me and while it just confirmed some things I already knew, it did give me some insight into how I deal with situations, conflicts and other people. If nothing else, it's an external look at how to maybe improve. For now, I'll just continue running around from event to event, planning activities with other people, and documenting it all on social media.
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If you'd like to learn more about Myers-Briggs, you can click here. If you have never taken the test, I highly recommend you do if ever given the chance. If nothing else, you can learn what kinds of people to avoid.
Monday, June 10, 2013
A Good Place To Live
I don't know what I expected when I planned a weekend in Bristol but whatever those expectations were, they were more than met and it's a weekend I would repeat 10 times. It was definitely different than my typical "get crazy" weekend in Charlotte but I loved every minute of it.
I've known Jenna for 8 months if you don't count the 7 years I "knew" her when we were at JMU. Since we reunited, I've been talking about going to Bristol to watch her race. For about 8 years she's been driving every make and model of race car in this grass roots (as her dad put it) racing league. A lot of her races are near her home but she's traveled all over the place to race. To top it off, she works for NASCAR, is completely submerged in the auto racing industry and is constantly pointing out my lack of knowledge of the culture.
So Megan and I finally committed and made plans to go to Bristol for the weekend. We got up early Saturday to make the 3-hour trip stopping every hour for the bathroom and being utterly floored by our first stop. The bathroom had a sign in it that said "Please don't flush paper down the toilet." (Just let that sink in for a minute). Then we're pretty sure the two guys at the counter stole the debit card they were using, and the guy at the coffee counter walked out on his cup of decaf when the attendant told him she didn't have any sugar packets. (Really!? Not sure if I'm more shocked that he needs sugar that much or that the store didn't have any in stock). Meanwhile, in the parking lot, a woman had driven her tractor to the station to get gas. Seeing as there wasn't a house within a mile of the gas station, we're pretty sure she was going to have to use all of the gas she'd just bought to get home.
About halfway through our trip, Jenna texts us to ask what our plans are. Uhm, call us crazy but weren't we going to see her? Shouldn't she have a plan for us? She was headed to the track already and gave us a list of restaurants to try in downtown Bristol and told us to kill some time. So we embarked on a self-guided tour of Bristol complete with antiquing and a trip to the giant sign. For those who don't know, Bristol is on the state line between Tennessee and Virginia. On one side of the street, you're in Bristol, Tennessee and on the other side, you're in Bristol, Virginia. We got a kick out of being in two places at once and joining in on the town joke that the sign says it's a good (not great) place to live.
A quick trip to Wal-Mart proved to be an adventure in itself. The shelves were lined with NASCAR gear and Duck Dynasty paraphernalia and we made out with some funky shirts and duct tape to make shirts for Jenna's race. We eventually made it to her house where we met up with her mom. At this point, we'd been in Bristol for 4 hours, toured downtown, gone to Wal-Mart, met her mom, saw her childhood bedroom and still hadn't actually seen Jenna. She called to check-in and make sure we got there okay and said she'd see us at the race.
We hopped in the car to make the hour-long trek to the race track. The way Jenna talks about her mom, I feel like I've known her forever. It turns out Jenna tells her mom and us all the same things so we were able to bond over those stories on the trip. As we drove through, her mom told us stories about how they used to live at the track and how one adventure to a drive-in took an unexpected turn. It was an easy conversation which helped considering there were only miles and miles of trees and mountains to look at (not complaining, it was gorgeous).
We made it to the track watched Jenna qualify and she came up to say hi (first Jenna sighting since we arrived). Much like minor league baseball, grass roots racing has a lot of bells and whistles that accompany the races: introductions, talking to the racers, and a few games to make it a little interesting. We watched a few of the other classes of race cars and Jenna completed her first race.
As the sun started going down, things started getting interesting. I grew up close to the country so I'm not unfamiliar with country folk. Southwest Virginians, however, need their own introduction. Jenna has somewhat of a southern accent but I was more or less floored by some of the accents during the interviews they conducted. There were families and firends sitting in groups cheering for certain drivers and getting feisty during cautions and accidents. At one point, I thought there was going to be an all out family vs. family brawl after one driver spun out another. There was a mom cheering on her son so vigorously that she had to take puffs off of her inhaler in between laps just to keep it up and one driver had cut off his racing suit and his black and red heart boxers were showing out of the bottom. At the end of the night, we sliced up a watermelon right in the infield and had a little "treat" as they put it.
We headed back to the house where Jenna's mom laid out a full-blown spread of meats, cheeses, chicken salad, pasta salad and chips that would have been fit for any family BBQ. Jenna showed up about an hour later and we were able to hang out before we ALL passed out after the excitement from the day. They took us to lunch Sunday where I was blessed with soft pretzels and a beer cheese dip that is worth the trip back in itself.
I feel like you learn a lot about someone when you visit their hometown and while I knew a lot about Jenna going into it, nothing could have prepared me for the excitement at the track. The contrast between Jenna and her relaxed parents and the families coming out in broods of 10+ was startling. They take this racing very seriously and had there been no cars actually driving around the track, it would have been equally as entertaining. I'm sure they would come to my hometown and judge every thing about it so I don't feel the least bit guilty pointing this out. Different strokes for different folks and all.
I'm not a newcomer to auto racing having seen a ton of races in Richmond growing up but I recently rekindled my love for the sport when NASCAR was here in Charlotte a few weeks ago. I don't know where Saturday night short track racing has been all my life but it will definitely be a permanent fixture from here on out. I already made plans with my dad to go to Winston-Salem and he's taking me to Richmond on my next trip home.
If nothing else, I had a relaxing, entertaining, and enlightening weekend. I got to hang out with some pretty awesome people and witness Jenna in her natural habitat. Should we make another trip to Bristol (and we will), I challenge it to be half as exciting as it was this time. Who knows, maybe I'll learn what it really means to be an "Appalachian American."
I've known Jenna for 8 months if you don't count the 7 years I "knew" her when we were at JMU. Since we reunited, I've been talking about going to Bristol to watch her race. For about 8 years she's been driving every make and model of race car in this grass roots (as her dad put it) racing league. A lot of her races are near her home but she's traveled all over the place to race. To top it off, she works for NASCAR, is completely submerged in the auto racing industry and is constantly pointing out my lack of knowledge of the culture.
So Megan and I finally committed and made plans to go to Bristol for the weekend. We got up early Saturday to make the 3-hour trip stopping every hour for the bathroom and being utterly floored by our first stop. The bathroom had a sign in it that said "Please don't flush paper down the toilet." (Just let that sink in for a minute). Then we're pretty sure the two guys at the counter stole the debit card they were using, and the guy at the coffee counter walked out on his cup of decaf when the attendant told him she didn't have any sugar packets. (Really!? Not sure if I'm more shocked that he needs sugar that much or that the store didn't have any in stock). Meanwhile, in the parking lot, a woman had driven her tractor to the station to get gas. Seeing as there wasn't a house within a mile of the gas station, we're pretty sure she was going to have to use all of the gas she'd just bought to get home.
About halfway through our trip, Jenna texts us to ask what our plans are. Uhm, call us crazy but weren't we going to see her? Shouldn't she have a plan for us? She was headed to the track already and gave us a list of restaurants to try in downtown Bristol and told us to kill some time. So we embarked on a self-guided tour of Bristol complete with antiquing and a trip to the giant sign. For those who don't know, Bristol is on the state line between Tennessee and Virginia. On one side of the street, you're in Bristol, Tennessee and on the other side, you're in Bristol, Virginia. We got a kick out of being in two places at once and joining in on the town joke that the sign says it's a good (not great) place to live.
Doing a little antiquing on the VA side!
A quick trip to Wal-Mart proved to be an adventure in itself. The shelves were lined with NASCAR gear and Duck Dynasty paraphernalia and we made out with some funky shirts and duct tape to make shirts for Jenna's race. We eventually made it to her house where we met up with her mom. At this point, we'd been in Bristol for 4 hours, toured downtown, gone to Wal-Mart, met her mom, saw her childhood bedroom and still hadn't actually seen Jenna. She called to check-in and make sure we got there okay and said she'd see us at the race.
We hopped in the car to make the hour-long trek to the race track. The way Jenna talks about her mom, I feel like I've known her forever. It turns out Jenna tells her mom and us all the same things so we were able to bond over those stories on the trip. As we drove through, her mom told us stories about how they used to live at the track and how one adventure to a drive-in took an unexpected turn. It was an easy conversation which helped considering there were only miles and miles of trees and mountains to look at (not complaining, it was gorgeous).
We made it to the track watched Jenna qualify and she came up to say hi (first Jenna sighting since we arrived). Much like minor league baseball, grass roots racing has a lot of bells and whistles that accompany the races: introductions, talking to the racers, and a few games to make it a little interesting. We watched a few of the other classes of race cars and Jenna completed her first race.
The track :)
As the sun started going down, things started getting interesting. I grew up close to the country so I'm not unfamiliar with country folk. Southwest Virginians, however, need their own introduction. Jenna has somewhat of a southern accent but I was more or less floored by some of the accents during the interviews they conducted. There were families and firends sitting in groups cheering for certain drivers and getting feisty during cautions and accidents. At one point, I thought there was going to be an all out family vs. family brawl after one driver spun out another. There was a mom cheering on her son so vigorously that she had to take puffs off of her inhaler in between laps just to keep it up and one driver had cut off his racing suit and his black and red heart boxers were showing out of the bottom. At the end of the night, we sliced up a watermelon right in the infield and had a little "treat" as they put it.
We headed back to the house where Jenna's mom laid out a full-blown spread of meats, cheeses, chicken salad, pasta salad and chips that would have been fit for any family BBQ. Jenna showed up about an hour later and we were able to hang out before we ALL passed out after the excitement from the day. They took us to lunch Sunday where I was blessed with soft pretzels and a beer cheese dip that is worth the trip back in itself.
I feel like you learn a lot about someone when you visit their hometown and while I knew a lot about Jenna going into it, nothing could have prepared me for the excitement at the track. The contrast between Jenna and her relaxed parents and the families coming out in broods of 10+ was startling. They take this racing very seriously and had there been no cars actually driving around the track, it would have been equally as entertaining. I'm sure they would come to my hometown and judge every thing about it so I don't feel the least bit guilty pointing this out. Different strokes for different folks and all.
I'm not a newcomer to auto racing having seen a ton of races in Richmond growing up but I recently rekindled my love for the sport when NASCAR was here in Charlotte a few weeks ago. I don't know where Saturday night short track racing has been all my life but it will definitely be a permanent fixture from here on out. I already made plans with my dad to go to Winston-Salem and he's taking me to Richmond on my next trip home.
The Bristol sign lit up at night :)
If nothing else, I had a relaxing, entertaining, and enlightening weekend. I got to hang out with some pretty awesome people and witness Jenna in her natural habitat. Should we make another trip to Bristol (and we will), I challenge it to be half as exciting as it was this time. Who knows, maybe I'll learn what it really means to be an "Appalachian American."
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Middle Child Syndrome
It's a real thing.
My "diagnosis" with the "disease" has always been more of a joke. I'm the middle of three girls: 7 years younger than my older sister and 18 months older than the baby. We had a jokes growing up about it; random "pick on Christy" marathons where they ganged up on me and pointed out every little thing I said. We're all a lot alike but also very different so we all found our own hobbies, our own niches, and our own groove. It wasn't until a recent conversation with a friend about my so called "disease" that I decided to look into it a little more.
So, being the researcher that I am, I googled it. And came across an entire community of research, blogs, family planners and message boards, all about middle child syndrome. So yes, it is a real thing, and yes, I do have it. And yes, this discovery has been the highlight of my week. I know things like this (horoscopes, abstract concepts, etc.) tend to be vague so people can draw their own conclusions about their own lives. And naturally, I found research that I agreed with and some I didn't.
Seeing as this is a happy discovery, I'm gonna focus on the positive first. I learned in this research that middle children learn early on to speak up and stand out to get the attention they're often denied. They tend to be more flexible and aren't often thrown off when things don't go their way. They thrive in spontaneous situations and find planning and organizing somewhat of a burden. They build strong relationships and hold them closely. They have a hard time making decisions and when they do, the decisions are usually rash and not well thought out. But when they do make these bad decisions, they are great at the aftermath and can usually handle it quickly and painlessly. I think it's safe to say that I exhibit most if not all of these behaviors.
There's definitely some negative connotations to this syndrome and probably explains why we all get such a bad name. A lot of research says we're co-dependent and have low-self esteem because we didn't get a lot of attention growing up. It also says middle children are constantly seeking their parents approval and looking for attention whether that be in a negative or positive way. This low-self esteem and feeling of inadequacy can often keep them from pursuing what they want. Clearly, none of these things apply to me. However, if I have an identity crisis at some point in my life (which happens often) we know it's a direct result of my being the second child.
One of the bigger pieces and something I saw frequently was that middle children are often defined by their older sibling and overshadowed by the younger sibling. The older sibling gets to do everything first. And the younger sibling is, well, the baby. And while I spent a lot of my childhood as "Betsy's sister" I don't ever feel like I was forced to be defined by her. In fact, I wanted to be just like her. And there's some things about her I still wish I could steal. On the other end, my little sister and me are so close in age that we shared almost everything. We got phones at the same time, had the same rules and curfews, sometimes even had matching outfits, and now we share a pretty diverse circle of friends.
I made a joke the other day about how I've embraced my middle child syndrome, but I'm starting to believe that holds a little more truth that I initially intended. Some of the middle child qualities I identify with have landed me in a new state with new friends and a plethora of new experiences that make me step outside my box. My older sister got to have the first kid and my little sister is having a big, fancy wedding, so there's no pressure on me for grandchildren or to settle down too quick. I get to make mistakes, learn from them, and move on because I've had so much experience making similar mistakes when I was growing up and no one is really paying attention to me (sidenote: this is joke. My parents love us all equally). I'm not saying that I'm stomping on the floor throwing a tantrum because no one is paying attention to me, but I do recognize that I'm a little different than the two of them and have quite a few qualities that make me question how the three of us ever survived 18 years in the same house.
Don't get me wrong, I love being in the middle. I get to be both a big sister and a little sister at the same time. I get to learn from my older sister's mistakes and try not to make mistakes that affect the younger one. I honestly don't think my parents "ignored" me and I don't think they played favorites, (like so many middle children claim) but I am grateful that I had a little room to stretch my wings and no one has faulted me for the quirky, creative, sometimes reckless behavior that I exhibit everyday. Whether that behavior is a direct result of me identifying as a middle child or not, it's safe to say that being stuck in the middle has had some kind of impact on my personality. And if I have to live in the shadow of an older sibling and fight for attention with the other, I couldn't think of two other people who know exactly how and when to put me in my place: right smack dab in the middle. Afterall, isn't the middle section the best part of an oreo?
My "diagnosis" with the "disease" has always been more of a joke. I'm the middle of three girls: 7 years younger than my older sister and 18 months older than the baby. We had a jokes growing up about it; random "pick on Christy" marathons where they ganged up on me and pointed out every little thing I said. We're all a lot alike but also very different so we all found our own hobbies, our own niches, and our own groove. It wasn't until a recent conversation with a friend about my so called "disease" that I decided to look into it a little more.
So, being the researcher that I am, I googled it. And came across an entire community of research, blogs, family planners and message boards, all about middle child syndrome. So yes, it is a real thing, and yes, I do have it. And yes, this discovery has been the highlight of my week. I know things like this (horoscopes, abstract concepts, etc.) tend to be vague so people can draw their own conclusions about their own lives. And naturally, I found research that I agreed with and some I didn't.
Seeing as this is a happy discovery, I'm gonna focus on the positive first. I learned in this research that middle children learn early on to speak up and stand out to get the attention they're often denied. They tend to be more flexible and aren't often thrown off when things don't go their way. They thrive in spontaneous situations and find planning and organizing somewhat of a burden. They build strong relationships and hold them closely. They have a hard time making decisions and when they do, the decisions are usually rash and not well thought out. But when they do make these bad decisions, they are great at the aftermath and can usually handle it quickly and painlessly. I think it's safe to say that I exhibit most if not all of these behaviors.
There's definitely some negative connotations to this syndrome and probably explains why we all get such a bad name. A lot of research says we're co-dependent and have low-self esteem because we didn't get a lot of attention growing up. It also says middle children are constantly seeking their parents approval and looking for attention whether that be in a negative or positive way. This low-self esteem and feeling of inadequacy can often keep them from pursuing what they want. Clearly, none of these things apply to me. However, if I have an identity crisis at some point in my life (which happens often) we know it's a direct result of my being the second child.
One of the bigger pieces and something I saw frequently was that middle children are often defined by their older sibling and overshadowed by the younger sibling. The older sibling gets to do everything first. And the younger sibling is, well, the baby. And while I spent a lot of my childhood as "Betsy's sister" I don't ever feel like I was forced to be defined by her. In fact, I wanted to be just like her. And there's some things about her I still wish I could steal. On the other end, my little sister and me are so close in age that we shared almost everything. We got phones at the same time, had the same rules and curfews, sometimes even had matching outfits, and now we share a pretty diverse circle of friends.
I made a joke the other day about how I've embraced my middle child syndrome, but I'm starting to believe that holds a little more truth that I initially intended. Some of the middle child qualities I identify with have landed me in a new state with new friends and a plethora of new experiences that make me step outside my box. My older sister got to have the first kid and my little sister is having a big, fancy wedding, so there's no pressure on me for grandchildren or to settle down too quick. I get to make mistakes, learn from them, and move on because I've had so much experience making similar mistakes when I was growing up and no one is really paying attention to me (sidenote: this is joke. My parents love us all equally). I'm not saying that I'm stomping on the floor throwing a tantrum because no one is paying attention to me, but I do recognize that I'm a little different than the two of them and have quite a few qualities that make me question how the three of us ever survived 18 years in the same house.
Don't get me wrong, I love being in the middle. I get to be both a big sister and a little sister at the same time. I get to learn from my older sister's mistakes and try not to make mistakes that affect the younger one. I honestly don't think my parents "ignored" me and I don't think they played favorites, (like so many middle children claim) but I am grateful that I had a little room to stretch my wings and no one has faulted me for the quirky, creative, sometimes reckless behavior that I exhibit everyday. Whether that behavior is a direct result of me identifying as a middle child or not, it's safe to say that being stuck in the middle has had some kind of impact on my personality. And if I have to live in the shadow of an older sibling and fight for attention with the other, I couldn't think of two other people who know exactly how and when to put me in my place: right smack dab in the middle. Afterall, isn't the middle section the best part of an oreo?
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Three Sixty Five
I'll admit, I was going to save this post for the one year anniversary of my move to Charlotte but I thought the month between graduation and that move deserved some of the credit. Plus, all the hype and Facebook-focus on everyone graduating at JMU this weekend and it just felt timely. May 4th (Saturday) was the one year anniversary of the day I graduated and it has been a whirlwind of a time since then. Three hundred sixty five days later and I'm concerned how the next year is ever going to top this past one.
In the past year, I traveled to Europe and traipsed across Ireland and London for two weeks. I said good-bye to six years of experiences in Harrisonburg and moved to Charlotte. I started a job at a fortune 50 company doing something I have NEVER done before. I've been to concerts, sporting events, weekend-long adventures, and added to my ever-expanding friend network. And three of my best friends and one sister got engaged and a handful of others got married. It's been nothing short of a roller coaster to say the least.
While there's been a lot of ups, there's been a handful of downs. I'm making more money than I ever have before but my lifestyle changed accordingly so I'm not living large like I planned. Some of my most valued relationships have been tested. And after a year of doing a job that I love, I still have no idea where I want to be 5 years from now. Regardless of these little hiccups, I don't pretend to be the same person I was a year ago and have both the good and the bad to thank for it.
The pros definitely outweigh the cons and I have zero regrets about this past year. I'm so looking forward to the next 365 days. There's quite a few weddings, a boat, and some trips I'm looking forward to and oh-so-many things in Charlotte I have yet to try. Past that, I'm not sure what to expect. But then again, I wasn't really quite sure what to expect when I moved down here to begin with.
I know I'm ready for a new adventure and I'm ready to test a few theories. I'm ready to capitalize on the opportunities I've been putting on hold and I'm more than ready to move forward...whatever that may mean or take to happen. So, here's to another successful and challenging 365 days of awesome people, awesome experiences in the awesome city I've come to love.
In the past year, I traveled to Europe and traipsed across Ireland and London for two weeks. I said good-bye to six years of experiences in Harrisonburg and moved to Charlotte. I started a job at a fortune 50 company doing something I have NEVER done before. I've been to concerts, sporting events, weekend-long adventures, and added to my ever-expanding friend network. And three of my best friends and one sister got engaged and a handful of others got married. It's been nothing short of a roller coaster to say the least.
While there's been a lot of ups, there's been a handful of downs. I'm making more money than I ever have before but my lifestyle changed accordingly so I'm not living large like I planned. Some of my most valued relationships have been tested. And after a year of doing a job that I love, I still have no idea where I want to be 5 years from now. Regardless of these little hiccups, I don't pretend to be the same person I was a year ago and have both the good and the bad to thank for it.
The pros definitely outweigh the cons and I have zero regrets about this past year. I'm so looking forward to the next 365 days. There's quite a few weddings, a boat, and some trips I'm looking forward to and oh-so-many things in Charlotte I have yet to try. Past that, I'm not sure what to expect. But then again, I wasn't really quite sure what to expect when I moved down here to begin with.
I know I'm ready for a new adventure and I'm ready to test a few theories. I'm ready to capitalize on the opportunities I've been putting on hold and I'm more than ready to move forward...whatever that may mean or take to happen. So, here's to another successful and challenging 365 days of awesome people, awesome experiences in the awesome city I've come to love.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Night on the Townie
I’ve already written about how much I love the Town of
Davidson (circa Christmas). However, it consistently manages to fascinate me
with its small town charm and hole-in-the wall finds. The kind of places you
only find because you accidentally stumble across them or because someone,
somewhere has mentioned it. Fortunately, last weekend, we had our own personal
tour guide.
Right off of Main Street on the corner is a little coffee shop called Summit. It tends to be more of a “summer” hangout for my coworkers because of its spacious outdoor patio that doesn’t bode well in colder weather. It has a wide selection of IPAs and insanely good cookies made in the home of one of my coworker’s friends. It only has about 10 tables inside and the upstairs has a random collection of broken-in couches and overstuffed armchairs. It has that hole-in-the-wall feel I love about Davidson with a little outdoor ambiance and the occasional live band.
Summit on Fridays usually means a few beers on the patio and maybe splitting a bottle of wine. Since cookies don’t qualify as a meal, around 5:30 we start talking about food and/or making plans to go home and get food on our own. Me, my three coworkers, and one significant other decided on a little Italian place called “Meatballs on Main” that no one other than the one townie had ever heard of.
Meatballs on Main was located about a mile down the road in an old house. While it’s not that far off for businesses and restaurants to be built into houses, this one still had every wall and room intact. Minus the granite bar in the front room and the mismatched tables, you’d never think it was a fully operating restaurant. It had cute, decorative hanging light fixtures and a stairwell that ran right in the middle of the main hallways. The menu had a make-your-own pasta option and five different kinds of grilled cheese. Top it off with baked mac and cheese and it’s pretty much all my favorite foods in one place.
In a span of about 5 hours, I swam in the charm that I love so much about Davidson thanks to a group of coworkers I enjoy just as much in the office as I do outside of it. And, with the help of our own personal townie tour guide, we got to experience three little gems that I probably otherwise wouldn’t have ever stopped at. I realize Charlotte is a huge place and I have SO much left to try, but coming up on a year of living here and I’m still blown away by all the little secrets this place has to share.
Here’s to another adventure in Davidson and another blog post inspired by a night out with people that can turn any shitty week completely on its head.
Right off of Main Street on the corner is a little coffee shop called Summit. It tends to be more of a “summer” hangout for my coworkers because of its spacious outdoor patio that doesn’t bode well in colder weather. It has a wide selection of IPAs and insanely good cookies made in the home of one of my coworker’s friends. It only has about 10 tables inside and the upstairs has a random collection of broken-in couches and overstuffed armchairs. It has that hole-in-the-wall feel I love about Davidson with a little outdoor ambiance and the occasional live band.
Summit on Fridays usually means a few beers on the patio and maybe splitting a bottle of wine. Since cookies don’t qualify as a meal, around 5:30 we start talking about food and/or making plans to go home and get food on our own. Me, my three coworkers, and one significant other decided on a little Italian place called “Meatballs on Main” that no one other than the one townie had ever heard of.
Meatballs on Main was located about a mile down the road in an old house. While it’s not that far off for businesses and restaurants to be built into houses, this one still had every wall and room intact. Minus the granite bar in the front room and the mismatched tables, you’d never think it was a fully operating restaurant. It had cute, decorative hanging light fixtures and a stairwell that ran right in the middle of the main hallways. The menu had a make-your-own pasta option and five different kinds of grilled cheese. Top it off with baked mac and cheese and it’s pretty much all my favorite foods in one place.
Wall decor inside of Meatballs on Main
After dinner, we headed down the block a ways to Carolina
Cone, a small ice cream shop that served 40 flavors of Hershey’s ice cream and
had every type Mylar balloon you could possible imagine. In a way, it reminded
me of an old school soda shop. It had a merry go round and playground outside,
old yellow booths and gumball machines inside, and all different kinds of
balloons taped to the ceiling for display. Not to be overlooked were the 30
different colors of regular latex balloons where one of my coworkers negotiated
a deal and plans to bring 100 strategically-picked balloons into work. The only
problem: how exactly is he (are we) going to get them there?
Old School Gumball Machines!
Ceiling decorated with hundreds of balloons.
In a span of about 5 hours, I swam in the charm that I love so much about Davidson thanks to a group of coworkers I enjoy just as much in the office as I do outside of it. And, with the help of our own personal townie tour guide, we got to experience three little gems that I probably otherwise wouldn’t have ever stopped at. I realize Charlotte is a huge place and I have SO much left to try, but coming up on a year of living here and I’m still blown away by all the little secrets this place has to share.
Here’s to another adventure in Davidson and another blog post inspired by a night out with people that can turn any shitty week completely on its head.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
A Not-So-New-Year Resolution
It’s been a long time since I wrote which is both a good and
a bad thing. Thanks to the holidays and some crazy, elusive illness my entire
family had, I haven’t been really motivated to do anything after work. My
evenings consisted mostly of finding something for dinner and distracting
myself with computer games and ABC Family movie marathons until I got enough
energy to move from the couch to the bed.
Thankfully, four weeks later, I’m finally feeling better and
feeling the pressure from the creative side of my brain. This hiatus from
blogging was also a good thing because I wasn’t looking at every situation as a
“blog experience” and could, for a while, live in the moment. Now if only I
could find a way to separate myself from tweeting and Facebooking every
memorable quote of my evenings.
It being the New Year, it only makes sense to do a
resolution post. I’m only 28 days late and when I think about it, it’s actually
better because I’ve had 28 days to reevaluate the alcohol-influenced
resolutions of New Year’s Eve and throw out the unrealistic and boring ones
that are either unattainable or just ridiculous. The resolution theme this
year: long-term goals. In other words, my goal was to think of resolutions that
would stick and be a lifestyle change I could make a regular part of my life.
Resolution #1: Good deeds. The first one is recycled from
last year and one I stole from my aunt. The idea is to do something nice or
some type of good gesture every day. Whether it’s holding the door, picking up
a piece of trash, letting someone over on the highway, etc. It’s not difficult,
or hard to adapt into an everyday lifestyle change but something that could in
the long run make just a little bit of a difference.
Resolution #2: Healthier Lifestyle. I don’t want this to be
like everyone else’s resolution. (“I’m gonna lose ______ pounds.”) My goal is
for it to encompass a lot more than just eating better, but adapting a whole
new healthier lifestyle in general. This includes but is certainly not limited
to, spending more time outside, drinking water instead of soda, spending more
time around kids, getting more sleep, and just all around making better
decisions that affect my physical or emotional well being. Probably going to
approach this one with the “baby steps” philosophy and ease into adding all of
the good stuff back into my life.
Resolution #3: Be more aware of my surroundings. I don’t
like to admit it, but sometimes I feel like I live in a bubble. I’m blissfully
unaware of what is going on around me. Sometimes it’s great, sometimes it’s not
so great. Fortunately, I haven’t been in a situation where this minor flaw has
led to detrimental consequences, but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen
very soon. I want this to include both my immediate vicinity (friends,
coworkers, etc) but also bigger things (politics, weather, world events). It
never hurt anyone to be a little more aware of what is going on in the world.
Resolution #4: Plan Better. I hate planning. It does not
agree with my personality type, it stresses me out, and I thrive on spontaneity
and spur of the moment decisions. I plan when I have to, like when it comes to
paying bills or planning trips home, but I try to avoid it as much as possible
in my every day activities. I know that if anything big happened to me, I
wouldn’t be able to handle it. I don’t like to think so negatively but I feel
there comes a point in adulthood when you have to start planning past Saturday
night. It’s no secret that I’m openly against growing up but I feel like this little
goal will get me in the right direction.
Whelp, that’s it. I think four long-term goals is enough to
get me moving through 2013, even 28 days late. Tomorrow is 8 months since I
moved to Charlotte and I had a moment of realization this past week of how much
my life has changed from the day I moved down here. If 2013 is half as awesome
as 2012 then I have nothing to worry about, other than sticking to my
resolutions.
So here’s to a new year and new goals to come with it.
Here’s to another 8 months in Charlotte, all the weddings coming up, my line-up
of concerts and adventures, and all the crazy people to do all of it with
me.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Christmas in Charlotte
First Christmas in Charlotte and so much to do!!
Decorations
I have a strict rule about the Holiday season. No Christmas decorations or music until Black Friday. That means no red and green until after Thanksgiving and my body has had time to settle from the Turkey day excitement. To kick off the Holiday season, my grandma hooked up me with a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. It came with it's own red ornament, Linus blanket and it plays the theme song. I set up the Christmas tree, took my new Charlie Brown nativity scene out of its box, and put Ron's Christmas collar on. BOOM. Holiday decorating complete.
Birthday Celebrations
Smack dab in the middle of the Holiday season is my birthday. I've never really enjoyed celebrating my birthday (in terms of presents) because it's so close to Christmas. I usually tell my friends that we'll celebrate Christmas and that's the end of that. Mike and Whit still cooked me my favorite dinner, baked me Christy-themed cupcakes, and even made it snow. (Ever since my mom died, it has snowed EVERY year on my birthday except that one year it was crazy warm and it just rained. A coincidence, probably, but something I looked forward to every year.) This year, it was not only warm, but there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Being the awesome friends that they are, they took some scissors to a few sheets of white computer paper and made it snow in their house. To cap off the evening, Whit asked me to be a bridesmaid in their wedding so now I get to be a part of their special day! Definitely one of my better birthdays to date!
Christmas in Davidson
The town of Davidson is a little town about 20 miles North of Charlotte and where a few of my friends live and/or grew up. The town (and the college in it) got on the map when the little Division 2 private school went to the Final Four in 2008. Christmas in Davidson is a three day event where vendors and organizations set up tents on the lawn with everything from games to charities and bake sales to contests. There's Christmas music, carriage rides, carolers and tree decorating contests and it embodies everything about that small town feel. We spiked a little eggnog, bundled up and walked around the event for a few hours stopping to play with the wooden puzzles and watch the dance company. If you've seen any episode of Gilmore Girls, then you can more than understand the culture and feel of the town at Christmas.
Holiday Office Party
We didn't have an official Christmas party but we had a decorating contest and a smorgasbord of baked goods. The decorating accelerated quickly and people dedicated hours and recycled cardboard to the cause. The contest was judged by some upper management in our department and included entire cardboard villages and even the crazy Christmas light ball from the Lowe's commercial. My team, being as no one had the time, energy, or money to devote to decorating, set up a tiny pink tinsel tree and drew a tree on the white erase board. We didn't win.
Christmas Adventures
I'm usually hit or miss at Christmas. Some years I'm all about some quality family time and shopping and other times I seriously question why we put our selves through this every year. One thing I'm always down for is good Christmas music and Christmas lights. We set aside some time tonight to go to a cute little store in Southend called Paper Skyscraper that sells unique gifts and decor. We ended up at Mellow Mushroom for some serious pizza consumption and reduced our speed in one of the nicer neighborhoods to view (and judge) the Christmas lights. We ended the Christmas festivities by stopping out a big tree outside of a pub to take some pictures all the while listening to the Straight No Chaser Christmas CD. (Men's a capella, Christmas music, and festive lights can never end badly).
So I got to tie in some of my favorite things with the new things I love about Charlotte. Despite my crazy work schedule, I'm gonna make it home for a two-day sprint of family time before I head back to Charlotte for New Year's! (Can't WAIT for that one!) As much as I love all the company and excitement of having people come visit, I'm excited to have a few weekends all to myself in January. No visitors, no traveling, no cleaning my apartment on Friday after work. That should give me plenty of time to rest up and prepare for the upcoming weddings and springtime fun!
Decorations
I have a strict rule about the Holiday season. No Christmas decorations or music until Black Friday. That means no red and green until after Thanksgiving and my body has had time to settle from the Turkey day excitement. To kick off the Holiday season, my grandma hooked up me with a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. It came with it's own red ornament, Linus blanket and it plays the theme song. I set up the Christmas tree, took my new Charlie Brown nativity scene out of its box, and put Ron's Christmas collar on. BOOM. Holiday decorating complete.
The extent of my Christmas decorations.
Birthday Celebrations
Smack dab in the middle of the Holiday season is my birthday. I've never really enjoyed celebrating my birthday (in terms of presents) because it's so close to Christmas. I usually tell my friends that we'll celebrate Christmas and that's the end of that. Mike and Whit still cooked me my favorite dinner, baked me Christy-themed cupcakes, and even made it snow. (Ever since my mom died, it has snowed EVERY year on my birthday except that one year it was crazy warm and it just rained. A coincidence, probably, but something I looked forward to every year.) This year, it was not only warm, but there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Being the awesome friends that they are, they took some scissors to a few sheets of white computer paper and made it snow in their house. To cap off the evening, Whit asked me to be a bridesmaid in their wedding so now I get to be a part of their special day! Definitely one of my better birthdays to date!
Birthday snow :)
The town of Davidson is a little town about 20 miles North of Charlotte and where a few of my friends live and/or grew up. The town (and the college in it) got on the map when the little Division 2 private school went to the Final Four in 2008. Christmas in Davidson is a three day event where vendors and organizations set up tents on the lawn with everything from games to charities and bake sales to contests. There's Christmas music, carriage rides, carolers and tree decorating contests and it embodies everything about that small town feel. We spiked a little eggnog, bundled up and walked around the event for a few hours stopping to play with the wooden puzzles and watch the dance company. If you've seen any episode of Gilmore Girls, then you can more than understand the culture and feel of the town at Christmas.
The A2S tree at Christmas in Davidson
Holiday Office Party
We didn't have an official Christmas party but we had a decorating contest and a smorgasbord of baked goods. The decorating accelerated quickly and people dedicated hours and recycled cardboard to the cause. The contest was judged by some upper management in our department and included entire cardboard villages and even the crazy Christmas light ball from the Lowe's commercial. My team, being as no one had the time, energy, or money to devote to decorating, set up a tiny pink tinsel tree and drew a tree on the white erase board. We didn't win.
Part of the cardboard gingerbread village
Lowe's themed cookies!
Christmas Adventures
I'm usually hit or miss at Christmas. Some years I'm all about some quality family time and shopping and other times I seriously question why we put our selves through this every year. One thing I'm always down for is good Christmas music and Christmas lights. We set aside some time tonight to go to a cute little store in Southend called Paper Skyscraper that sells unique gifts and decor. We ended up at Mellow Mushroom for some serious pizza consumption and reduced our speed in one of the nicer neighborhoods to view (and judge) the Christmas lights. We ended the Christmas festivities by stopping out a big tree outside of a pub to take some pictures all the while listening to the Straight No Chaser Christmas CD. (Men's a capella, Christmas music, and festive lights can never end badly).
Christmas tree in Southend
So I got to tie in some of my favorite things with the new things I love about Charlotte. Despite my crazy work schedule, I'm gonna make it home for a two-day sprint of family time before I head back to Charlotte for New Year's! (Can't WAIT for that one!) As much as I love all the company and excitement of having people come visit, I'm excited to have a few weekends all to myself in January. No visitors, no traveling, no cleaning my apartment on Friday after work. That should give me plenty of time to rest up and prepare for the upcoming weddings and springtime fun!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Home Sweet Home
About 10am Wednesday morning, my boss walked up to me and said "You can work from home Friday." Being in retail and Black Friday being a pretty big day all around for my company, I was planning on being in the office that day which resulted in me not being home for Thanksgiving. Numerous people offered to let me crash their quality family time in the Charlotte area but this early Christmas present from my boss made it possible for me to head home.
I packed up Thursday and make my first stop at Thanksgiving Feast 1 of 2 in Lynchburg, VA. I spent the afternoon with my mom's parents, sibling's and significant others before finishing the last 2 hours of trip en route to Fredericksburg. I got home right before the end of the Redskins game, scarfed down some amazing ham biscuits and mac and cheese (Thanksgiving Feast #2) and hung out with my adorable nieces. Pajama's and two bedtime stories later, the girls were asleep and the parents, my step sister and me retired outside by my dad's newly purchased fire pit (which he didn't hesitate to tell me be bought at Lowe's).
I woke up Friday morning to an adorable five-year old telling me about the chocolate chip pancakes upstairs. My nephew (who I NEVER see) got there a little later and the children achieved full momentum around 9:30. Then it happened: my step-mom busted out the GIANT bucket of Play Doh accessories. This wasn't just a few tubs of Play Doh. It was every color, cutter and tool imaginable. We had rolling pins, spaghetti makers, cookie cutters, critter makers, all of them. I'm convinced that my step-sister and I were way more excited about the morning activity than the children because it entertained the two of us for about 2 hours. My mad Play Doh skills were nothing compared to Ashley's holiday themed Play Doh cookies.
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Friday turned into a lunch date with Alex and some quality nephew time with my friend Zac. We decided to go see a movie and convinced my parents to come along. (We went to see Lincoln and I highly recommend it). You know you're an adult when you 1) willingly invite your parents to a movie and 2) invited them because you wanted them there and didn't just need a ride. Yay for growing up!
Saturday started with me picking out my Birthday/Christmas present and lunch with Mamaw (which also came with a few Snoopy-related goodies). The afternoon consisted of my little sister and fiance gracing us with their presence and the first time I got to see her gorgeous engagement ring. We talked weddings for like the next two hours and daddy cooked up some fried oysters and leftovers for dinner. Kristina showed up about 11 and we headed out downtown in an attempt to meet up with some wedding goers. Due mostly to poor planning on the part of my friends, we did not actually meet up with the wedding people and ended up hanging out downtown.
Sunday was lunch with both sisters at a cute little place downtown called Eileen's. They had gourmet sandwiches and salads. This, of course, was another first in a city where I didn't think there were any more firsts to be had. I settled on some sort of ham and cheese quiche-esque dish that had this crazy good pesto cream on top. The women behind the counter were extra friendly and even checked on us a few times during the meal.
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Whew! That's a lot. So let's recap:
1) I got to go home for Thanksgiving.
2) I got to see 90% of my family.
3) My loving parents and grandma hooked me up with a sweet birthday present and some Christy-appropriate Christmas decorations.
4) Saw the three close friends I still manage keep in touch with.
5) And most importantly...I gained a new appreciation for Fredericksburg.
I've never disliked Fredericksburg. I just knew that it wasn't where I wanted to end up. Until I moved to Charlotte, the great cities of Northern VA, Charlottesville and Harrisonburg were my top choices and Fredericksburg never made the list. Maybe it was because I had lived there so long and I was ready for change. Not sure. However, this weekend, I remembered why I love the city so much and why I feel a tiny sense of pride when I tell people where I'm from. It also helped that it's Christmas time and all the shops downtown are decorated for the holidays. You can almost feel the holiday cheer just walking down the streets.
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I guess knowing that I was leaving at the end of four days and making my way back to Charlotte made me appreciate Fredericksburg a little bit more. It's my home. Most of my family lives there and it's where all my roots are (minus the few that are still holding on in Harrisonburg.) I got a little sad leaving Sunday afternoon knowing that my next trip home is going to be a short two days. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was leaving home rather than running towards something else. And equally as important, for the first time in a long time, I'm counting down the days until I can go home again.
I packed up Thursday and make my first stop at Thanksgiving Feast 1 of 2 in Lynchburg, VA. I spent the afternoon with my mom's parents, sibling's and significant others before finishing the last 2 hours of trip en route to Fredericksburg. I got home right before the end of the Redskins game, scarfed down some amazing ham biscuits and mac and cheese (Thanksgiving Feast #2) and hung out with my adorable nieces. Pajama's and two bedtime stories later, the girls were asleep and the parents, my step sister and me retired outside by my dad's newly purchased fire pit (which he didn't hesitate to tell me be bought at Lowe's).
I woke up Friday morning to an adorable five-year old telling me about the chocolate chip pancakes upstairs. My nephew (who I NEVER see) got there a little later and the children achieved full momentum around 9:30. Then it happened: my step-mom busted out the GIANT bucket of Play Doh accessories. This wasn't just a few tubs of Play Doh. It was every color, cutter and tool imaginable. We had rolling pins, spaghetti makers, cookie cutters, critter makers, all of them. I'm convinced that my step-sister and I were way more excited about the morning activity than the children because it entertained the two of us for about 2 hours. My mad Play Doh skills were nothing compared to Ashley's holiday themed Play Doh cookies.
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My mad Play Doh Skills
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Ashley's mad Play Doh skills.
Saturday started with me picking out my Birthday/Christmas present and lunch with Mamaw (which also came with a few Snoopy-related goodies). The afternoon consisted of my little sister and fiance gracing us with their presence and the first time I got to see her gorgeous engagement ring. We talked weddings for like the next two hours and daddy cooked up some fried oysters and leftovers for dinner. Kristina showed up about 11 and we headed out downtown in an attempt to meet up with some wedding goers. Due mostly to poor planning on the part of my friends, we did not actually meet up with the wedding people and ended up hanging out downtown.
Sunday was lunch with both sisters at a cute little place downtown called Eileen's. They had gourmet sandwiches and salads. This, of course, was another first in a city where I didn't think there were any more firsts to be had. I settled on some sort of ham and cheese quiche-esque dish that had this crazy good pesto cream on top. The women behind the counter were extra friendly and even checked on us a few times during the meal.
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Eileen's in Downtown Fredericksburg. It's inside an old church and still has the "churchy" feel to it.
Whew! That's a lot. So let's recap:
1) I got to go home for Thanksgiving.
2) I got to see 90% of my family.
3) My loving parents and grandma hooked me up with a sweet birthday present and some Christy-appropriate Christmas decorations.
4) Saw the three close friends I still manage keep in touch with.
5) And most importantly...I gained a new appreciation for Fredericksburg.
I've never disliked Fredericksburg. I just knew that it wasn't where I wanted to end up. Until I moved to Charlotte, the great cities of Northern VA, Charlottesville and Harrisonburg were my top choices and Fredericksburg never made the list. Maybe it was because I had lived there so long and I was ready for change. Not sure. However, this weekend, I remembered why I love the city so much and why I feel a tiny sense of pride when I tell people where I'm from. It also helped that it's Christmas time and all the shops downtown are decorated for the holidays. You can almost feel the holiday cheer just walking down the streets.
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Downtown Fredericksburg all decorated for Christmas.
I guess knowing that I was leaving at the end of four days and making my way back to Charlotte made me appreciate Fredericksburg a little bit more. It's my home. Most of my family lives there and it's where all my roots are (minus the few that are still holding on in Harrisonburg.) I got a little sad leaving Sunday afternoon knowing that my next trip home is going to be a short two days. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was leaving home rather than running towards something else. And equally as important, for the first time in a long time, I'm counting down the days until I can go home again.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
A Weekend of Firsts
To say I’m utterly exhausted from this weekend is an
understatement. As of 6:00 Sunday night, my body refused to do anything else
that required any effort. This weekend I had my old roommates, Shawn and
Rachel, our friend Aimee, and two pup dogs staying in my apartment. We've been
planning the visit for a while, and I was looking forward to it so much that I
lost sleep Thursday night and thus started the weekend off on the wrong foot.
Regardless of my lack of sleep, it was nothing short of an
awesome weekend. To make it that much better, I had a lot of “firsts” this
weekend. I did a lot of things that I have never done in Charlotte or elsewhere
and was glad to share with this group of people.
First #1: Dinner Guests
Thanks to a special delivery by my aunts last weekend and
some gracious gifts from my grandmother and other family members, my apartment
is officially in “entertaining” condition. In other words, it actually feels
like an apartment and not like I’m just passing through temporarily. To avoid
the lines and confusion Saturday morning, I had picked up our 5K race packets
and a tutu for one of my friends. She swung by Friday evening to pick up the
tutu and I made alfredo pasta to avoid spending money on dinner. So not only
did I actually cook for another person but we also had a place to sit and eat
it. Check that one of my list.
First #2: The 5K
Thanks to our obsession with everything color, Rachel,
Aimee, and me signed up for The Color Run a couple of months ago. The Color Run
is a 5K that usually raises money for a charity partner. While you’re running,
volunteers throw colored corn starch on you at regular intervals. The purpose
is to wear all white to the event then end up completely tie-dyed by the end of
the race. It’s been a pretty big event all across the country for a year or two
now and Aimee and Rachel saw it as an opportunity to come spend the weekend in
Charlotte. I worked pretty hard trying to get ready for it but wasn’t prepared
for the hills and therefore didn’t do as well as I thought I would. Regardless,
I still finished it and ended up completely covered in colorful dust by the end
of the race.
Before....
After.....
First #3: New Foods
Aimee and Rachel are both obsessed with the Food Network and
the show “Diner, Drive-ins and Dives.” There are quite a few restaurants featured
on the show from the Charlotte area and the last time they were passing
through, we checked one of our lists. This weekend, we opted for an old-school,
1950’s drive-in complete with ancient speakers, menus and curb-side service. We
had a variety of BBQ sandwiches, onion rings and a burger called the Super Boy
which has two meat patties, lettuce, pickles, and everything else. (It’s one of
their signature dishes.) We ate in the car, because that’s what you do at a
drive-in and pretty sure we didn’t leave a single crumb behind.
Enjoying some Drive-in Food
That night for dinner, we tried PF Chang’s which is more or
less upscale Chinese food. Rachel was the only one that had ever been before
and while my sister loves their food, I had never been near one. We had a spicy
shrimp appetizer, crab Rangoon and I ordered crab fried rice. It was a huge
dish so I took half of it home and it tasted equally as good Sunday night for
dinner.
First #4: Dog Bar
It’s exactly like it sounds. LuckyDog Bark and Brew is a bar
in Cornelius where you can bring your dog.. So you drink a beer and your dog
makes new four-legged friends. It had an indoor and outdoor area, fully stocked
bar and TV screens for sports watching. Because I live here, I paid a $10 yearly
membership fee but Avery and Charlie (Rachel’s dogs) got to play for free.
Since half of it is inside, it’s going to come in handy in the winter when I
can’t get Ron to the dog park to run around. We stayed for about 3 hours;
sipping on beers and watching the puppies make new friends. All of the dogs
fell asleep in the car on the way home and we’re pretty sure they passed out
immediately after we left to go to dinner.
First #5: The Panther’s Game.
I’ve cheered for the Eagles forever but since the Panther’s
aren’t big rivals and we only play them every other year, I decided to make
them my “home team” and cheer for them only when they’re not playing the
Eagles. Plus, my coworkers tend to be in better moods on Monday’s when they win
(which hasn’t happened often this season.) Since they’re having a bad year, the
tickets are slowly decreasing in price so we were able to get cheap tickets for
Sunday’s game. Not a bad way to kill a Sunday afternoon. One of my friends
works for the Panther’s doing post game interview stuff and she was able to get
us press passes so we were able to go onto the field before the game and watch
the teams warm-up. About 20 minutes before game time, she took us on a tour of
the press box. As we were getting on the elevator to head to our seats, Michael
Jordan got off the elevator for his tour of the press box. He was about a foot
away from me and we breathed the same air so I’m probably going to have REALLY
athletic kids now.
The Panther’s ended up losing in overtime and the Eagles
just plain lost to (were destroyed by) the Redskins. Luckily, I wasn’t getting
good cell phone service in the stadium and didn’t see any of the updates until
the final score but that wasn’t nearly as bad as having to deal with the
texts/Facebook updates from my Redskins friends.
The weekend more than lived up to my hyped-up expectations
but I slept most of Sunday evening missing the AMAs and about 30 emails and
text messages. I woke up long enough to upload all the pictures so everyone
would have something to look at Monday at work (you’re welcome) and went back
to bed. I don’t think Ron minded the nap as Avery and Charlie wore him out but
he was ready to go at 6:30 Monday morning.
Short work week then home this weekend to see my adorable
nephew and other crazy family members. One week until Molly visits Charlotte
again and we can start the birthday celebrations. WOO!
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